First
by Shinsun
Summary: Deaf!Tsukishima AU. Tsukishima may not have picked the best time to ask if Kuroo wants to try taking their relationship to the next level. Kuroo is oblivious at first, and then concerned that they both might not be ready for such a big step.


Over the course of their stumbling, sometimes awkward and yet strangely patient and enduring relationship, Kei had learned never to underestimate the simple power of a well-placed kick to get Tetsurou's attention. Though the tactic had admittedly been turned on him a fair few times in revenge, on the whole he tended to pay a lot more attention than his often spacey boyfriend, so it was usually more out of spite than necessity when Tetsurou did it. Tetsurou himself, though, was sometimes in serious need of a good jab in the ribs or poke in the face when he got distracted. When Kei had something important to ask and he wasn't looking, for instance.

So when Tetsurou rolled onto his side with an indignant scowl, lips shaping around a wordless protest, he didn't see any reason to apologize, and instead just removed his foot from where he'd planted it firmly in Tetsurou's kidney, fixing him with the chiding, impatient look that meant he had better shut up and listen - or watch, rather - because he was only going to say this once...hopefully.

Unfolding his arms from where they had been propping his chin in his hands on the edge of Tetsurou's bed, he faltered a moment as he tried to sort out what he actually wanted to ask. He hadn't felt nervous at all until this particular second, and was a little annoyed by the complete lack of warning for the sudden surge of anxiety, but now Tetsurou was watching him expectantly; a hint of offended pain evident in his furrowed eyebrows and the hand he was slowly massaging over his hip.

Across from them, the TV was still flickering with the dramatic speech of King Leonidas to his hopelessly outnumbered army, but he'd stopped reading the subtitles a long time ago. In all honesty he'd just been watching Tetsurou for the past twenty minutes, studying the clean-shaven, masculine angle of his jaw, the strongly flexing muscles of his neck and shoulders, the way his bright, narrow eyes shifted and gleamed with interest as he focused intently on the movie; even the way his stupid hair stood straight up in the back, like he'd never run a brush through it in his life. Much more entertaining than the cookie-cutter Greek drama playing out predictably onscreen.

He must have hesitated too long, because Tetsurou finally moved his hands to start to ask if there was something wrong. Kei could read the intention in his gaze before he'd even signed the first word.

Waving him off briskly, he sat up and brought his hands into his lap for a moment, gritting his teeth and willing his face not to heat up and betray his embarrassment. He might not have picked the most ideal time to bring this up. Even if he personally wasn't all that invested in the movie he'd been invited over to watch, Tetsurou certainly seemed to be, and it was probably kind of rude for him to interrupt. Not that he usually cared too much about coming off as rude, but he _was_ a guest here, and he _was_ trying to get around to making a rather significant request of his patient, curiously blinking boyfriend at the moment.

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he lifted his hands slightly and tried again, motioning to Tetsurou before quickly averting his gaze and drawing his hands toward himself, sure that despite his best efforts, he was going to start blushing insanely any second now.

" _Do you...want to…"_ he trailed off, hands stammering as Tetsurou watched him perplexedly, tilting his head to one side a little as he waited for him to go on.

 _Ugh_. Tapping his fingertips to his forehead briefly, he lowered both hands to rest against his knees, tentatively twitching his index fingers toward himself before directing them back to Tetsurou.

" _...you know...do it?"_

Tetsurou blinked, uncomprehending - and okay, Kei admitted, maybe he was being a little unclear - before pushing himself up off the mattress and crossing his legs Indian-style to face him.

" _Do what?"_ he asked, copying Kei's gesture before waving his hands back and forth at his sides in confusion.

Kei fought a strong urge to roll his eyes; he didn't want to discourage Tetsurou from asking when he didn't understand, but seriously, this was already difficult enough without having to explain what he meant in _detail_. And it wasn't like there was a great wealth of ways to say what he was trying to get across in the first place.

"... _Do me?"_ he tried after a beat, maybe a little too hurriedly, clearing his throat as a veritable flood of heat rushed up to his face and his breathing noticeably shortened in his chest, puffing past his slightly parted lips and starting to steam up his glasses.

When he glanced up to find Tetsurou still looking at him like he was speaking a foreign language - which hadn't been the case in a long while, or so he'd assumed - he sighed in frustration and held one hand up, like when they were still barely acquaintances, awkwardly struggling to communicate with fumbled fingerspelling and memo pads. When the initial idea of propositioning Tetsurou had crossed his mind tonight - sometime between Leonidas reaching the passage of Thermopylae and Xerxes learning something useful about goats - he hadn't thought he would have to literally spell it out to him.

" _S-E-X?"_ he signed; slowly, deliberately and completely deadpan despite the flush of color that was surely blooming uncontrollably across his entire face. Then he stubbornly set his jaw and forced eye-contact through slightly fogged lenses, daring Tetsurou to laugh at him.

He didnt. Rather, his mouth promptly dropped open in blatant shock and his eyes went wider than Kei thought he'd ever seen them, blinking a few times rapidly before seeming to flare and glitter with a surge of piquing interest. At the same time, a very pretty flush was creeping onto his face, riding high on his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, and he quickly ducked his head to clear his throat into his fist, his tangled bangs briefly obscuring his face from view.

When he finally seemed to compose himself enough to look up, it was with a glow of awe and appreciation, but there was hesitation and concern laid plain too in his compelling gaze.

" _Now?"_ he asked incredulously, dropping his hands face-up into his lap, fingers curled and thumbs outstretched in either direction.

Kei considered once again that his timing was probably poor, and the struggle to convey what he was after without preamble or context may have inadvertently killed any mood he might have tried to set, but in the end he just shrugged, a tiny bit defensively, " _If you want..."_

" _Do_ _ **you**_ _want…?_ " Tetsurou let the gesture trail off, balling up his hands for a moment in the fabric of his sweatpants and glancing away, looking very much like a bashful little boy, despite his wild hairstyle and punkish piercings.

Reaching out to experimentally touch one of his heated cheeks, Kei frowned and drew him in closer, directing his attention to his other hand as it moved fluidly between them, gesturing to himself before curling back, and then poking Tetsurou in the chest, " _I want you."_

Tetsurou looked up at him in surprise, scrutinizing his face as if trying to find snark or sarcasm in it, before seeming to fidget uncomfortably and bringing a hand around in a downward slash in front of himself, " _I've never…"_ the aborted sentence was completed in the insecure darting of his eyes from Kei's face to his hands, as if worrying he would be made fun of. Kei couldn't help a small smirk, but for once it held no malice, only mild amusement as he replied, shaking his head and withdrawing his hand from Tetsurou's cheek to do so.

" _Me neither."_ Yeah, there was a little thrill of nerves to admit something so candid, even though Tetsurou had more or less just done the same. And yeah, it had been a little surprising to learn that his smoking hot, devil-may-care older boyfriend was in fact also a virgin, but at the same time, it was kind of a relief. They could both start on the same page, then. Provided Tetsurou was actually on board with the impromptu proposition, and not put off by the timing and the awkward manner of Kei's asking.

He still seemed to be mulling it over, growing distant and distracted again as he bit his lower lip thoughtfully, keeping his gaze averted. When he finally turned back, Kei noticed with a minor jolt that his lips were moving, and quickly strained to keep up with the outlines of the words they were tracing.

"Are you sure you'll...be okay?" Was what he gathered from expertly reading their movements...or something like that, anyway; the lingering concern and worry in Tetsurou's eyes fixed on his own said more on its own than the silent question that fell quite literally on deaf ears. Kei narrowed his eyes. Tetsurou was hardly ever patronizing, and knew by now not to make any assumptions about what Kei could and couldn't handle; he must really have been worried to ask something like that, and the fact that he'd bypassed signing it out made it seem like he hadn't really wanted to anyway.

As an answer, Kei shrugged dismissively and lifted the lower hem of his shirt, starting to roll it up his stomach and chest. Immediately, with a near-frantic flailing of his hands that didn't even come close to coherent sign language, Tetsurou scrambled to stopped him, pushing his shirt back down and going even more beet red than before, to the point that Kei wondered if he would be able to spot jets of steam escaping his ears if he looked close.

" _We...we should talk about this first,_ " Tetsurou protested, his hands still awkward and clumsy from his moment of apparent panic as he pointed his index finger to his thumb and quickly looked away.

Kei waited for him to meet his eye again, and then nodded reticently, flipping one hand over to spell agreement. " _Okay."_

They had both brought it up and discussed it before. Not at great length, but enough to understand that it was something that was probably going to happen one day, eventually. Enough to account for boundaries and preferences, and loosely prepare for the possibility, but not enough for the prospect to ever become anything more than an occasional, hypothetical "what-if".

Kei had honestly been playing off Tetsurou's cue until now, leaving the ball in his court and waiting for him to make the first move...but so far he never had, and though Kei did definitely want both of them to be one hundred percent ready and willing before they did anything, he wasn't exactly known for his patience.

Or his tact.

" _What do we need to talk about?"_ he asked, tapping one finger to his lips before circling his other hand with it.

Tetsurou frowned just slightly, " _We shouldn't rush into -"_ he began, breaking off and flexing his hands open and closed indecisively as he turned to glance over his shoulder. Kei watched in confusion as he felt around where he was sitting on the bed, before snatching the TV remote from where it had been partially buried in the sheets and switching off the movie.

So that was it. The dramatic final battle scene hadn't been much of a distraction for him, but he supposed it might have been if he'd also had to actually listen to the people being hacked by swords and stabbed with spears and arrows on the grotesquely flickering screen, before it had snapped to black when Tetsurou hit the power button. Probably not the best atmosphere to cultivate their little discussion...which Kei still didn't see as entirely necessary. They'd been through semantics; it was really a yes or no question at this point.

He tried to tell Tetsurou as much, but he was waved off, inciting an indignant huff, and Tetsurou actually went as far as to patiently fold Kei's hands in his own before placing them down on the bed. His expression was gentle, but serious, and Kei got the message to stop talking and just watch loud and clear. That wasn't going to stop him from sulking about it.

He reached up pointedly to adjust his glasses on the bridge of his nose, effectively pouting to convey his displeasure, but otherwise he obeyed and didn't say anything else, giving Tetsurou his full attention and pressing his hands down on his socked feet to keep them still.

Tetsurou's hands were fidgeting restlessly, but they weren't saying anything just yet, as he appeared to be collecting his thoughts. Then he seemed to pick up where he left off, shoulders lifting in an evident sigh.

" _We shouldn't rush into anything,"_ he said, now more steady in his hands' motions, as he brought one down flat into the other, and then carried the gesture sideways, like a skipping stone, " _I know you think you're ready, but -"_ he frowned and broke off, index fingers still hovering in the air, and Kei realized he must have scowled more visibly than he'd thought. " _...Don't look at me like that."_

" _You sound like my brother,"_ Kei informed him tersely, breaking his implied promise not to interrupt and furrowing his eyebrows in frustration as his hands spoke rapidly, " _It's not that big a deal."_

Tetsurou opened his mouth, and then closed it, and brought his fist up to his lips, seeming indecisive. Then his shoulders slumped and he replied, slowly and carefully, averting his eyes and keeping his hands in close to his lap, " _Maybe not to you..."_

Oh. Kei dropped his gaze, taking his lower lip between his teeth as he processed this. In his determination to prove that he was ready, and his refusal to be patronized, he had hardly considered that Tetsurou might have been hesitating and dancing around the subject out of nerves or fear. For his own sake, and not some misguided attempt to shelter and protect Kei.

" _So...no?"_ he asked, closing two fingers with his thumb as he sought out Tetsurou's gaze. He was still watching Kei intermittently, but at his prompting, he lowered his head, and then shook it from side to side slowly.

Swallowing an uncomfortable flash of guilt, Kei scooted closer, and gingerly leaned his head on Tetsurou's shoulder, relaxing when he wasn't pushed away. He felt the air go out of Tetsurou's lungs slowly, and then one of his hands lifted to circle against his chest in apology, presumably for disappointing Kei. Kei placed his own on top of it and shoved it down in denial, bumping his forehead against him chidingly, and then burying a stupid, sappy smile against his shirt as he felt his large frame shake with an answering laugh.

The moment stretched thin, unbroken, and Kei pressed in closer, soaking up Tetsurou's solid warmth and feeling the gentle rise and fall of his back as he breathed, the faint but steady tick of his heartbeat against his cheek. This was more than enough.

After almost a minute had passed, Tetsurou nudged him lightly with his elbow, shifting so they could face each other. Kei opened his eyes and raised his head, briefly mourning the loss of contact when they parted.

" _Soon,_ " Tetsurou was saying, expression dead-serious as he tapped his fingers against the underside of his chin, " _Soon we can do it."_

Kei knew it probably sounded weird, the rare occasions when he would laugh out loud, but he couldn't help it. Pushing Tetsurou in the chest, he snorted and doubled over as he shook with tingling bubbles of hilarity, pressing his forehead against the mattress and hugging his stomach until he could get ahold of himself. When he sat up, Tetsurou was looking at him strangely, but there was a lopsided smile tugging at his lips, and something soft in his gaze as it tracked across Kei's face.

" _Okay. I'll leave my calendar open,"_ Kei quipped, flipping his hands over onto his knees and reading the look of confusion, and then amusement that Tetsurou's face took on. Jokes and sarcasm were things that didn't always translate well to sign language, especially with Kei's deadpan sense of humor, but Tetsurou was a remarkably fast learner, and had definitely caught on by now to when he was kidding.

" _Okay,"_ he said, imitating Kei's gesture and grinning wide and slow, "... _Let's at least finish the movie first."_

Fin


End file.
